Sea Enigma's place

Tomorrow is another big day for my cousin Azwann. It's his wedding reception and I'm sure he and the bride will be nervous. SO am I actually, being one of the wedding singers, next to my 2 other cousins Johanna and Jasmine, and my 2 adorable nieces Suraya and Shakira. I really need to practice and study for my IELTS but I came down with a gastric problem and no it's not helping with my anxiety and my appetite. Looks like no dinner for me as I doubt I can take another bite especially with this very annoying pain in my tummy!! Nonetheless, I really need to practice and I wanna put on a good show for the bride and groom and the rest of my family. Above all else I want to give it my all and develop my self-esteem. Hopefully I can study too. I really need to get through the IELTS exam. May have to take a day off though. Well, that's all for now. Thanks for dropping by. Sea Enigma

Well today was just like any other. I went to work at the Q-dees Kindergarden, arrived home at about 2pm and took a 3 hour nap. By the time I woke up, I was alone at home (well not completely alone as my sister Lara was in her room. For a while I sat pondering on what I should do though I did have to study for my up-coming IELTS exam and prepare the song for Abang Azwann's wedding. Plus I have not really exercised in a while and not been in the pool for a couple of weeks due to flu. Neither have I been to the gym as my new mp3 player had been misplaced and deemed lost. After pondering I had decided to go for a swim. As usual, I had the pool all to myself, though occasionally some of the neighbours would be there or the kids or at the gym. But I was fortunate as I swim better when alone. Generally in the pool I would just go for half an hour to an hour non-stop regardless on how many laps I had done. But today I decided to count my laps and though the most I had done previously

It is true, I may have been unfair to my parents, especially my dad who has been supporting all my wishes since I was small. Yet, why do I still feel 'HATE' towards my parents, especially my mother. Though she thinks I have no idea how harsh, difficult and unfair the performance and entertainment business is, but I do (having been rejected from 'Malaysian Idol' twice and facing better singers in the Young KL Singers and getting lower marks in the Singing Shop Vocal Exam compared to my sister). I may not be as good as most of the local artists, or have the best voice like the local singers, but that is no reason to not let me try. Again of course I may be harsh and may not 'UNDERSTAND' my mother and her past, but I feel that I know enough and I disagree totally of her methods and of HER as a person. It is also true that I will be 24 this December and should be working as well as living out of the house, yet circumstances deem otherwise at this moment. Yet I a