Why? What should I do? Stop trying? Why should I?
It's been half a year since I posted here.
Too many things happening,
Friend's convocation, me failing my Final Year Project, not doing well in Wushu,Singing and pretty much everything.
Other than that, I'm single again and missing him though it was for the best for both of us and our families.
I'm crying again, mostly from confusion, despair and uncertainty.
All I ever wanted was to be a singer, a performer and someone that is loved because I make them happy. But now, I can't seem to do that. I can't even make myself happy.
I'm lost once more, like always.
I love to sing, but many say I'm not good enough and am too emotional. Always being
compared to my younger sister because she's more mature, more beautiful and can do most of the things I wanna do better. Especially singing.
They tell me to accept it and to stop trying. Why?
Just because it's more practical and the most grown-up thing to do?
No way!!!!
They tell me to grow up to stand on my 2 feet, they think I can't do it as I refuse to 'grow-up'.
I'm tired of hearing that and no one understands.
What do u want me to do? Act like an old hag before my time, just like my little sister? NO FRIGGING WAY!!!!!!!!!!
I understand the importance of all this but they don't trust me.
What do I do? What can I do to make this all better?
Wish, dream? Believe in myself? Visualize?
I've watched the movie 'The Secret'. No, not the Chinese movie, but the movie adaptation of the book 'The Secret'.
I want to feel good, I want to think positive, but the environment around me is making me feel otherwise, same goes with the people around me.
Do I not give enough? Do I give too much?
All I can do now is cry my eyes out in sadness, pain, confusion and uncertainty.
What else can I do?
I used to have a nice singing voice, but now, I can't bear to hear myself and be compared to my sister over and over again.
I used to write fan fictions every day and that made my readers smiling every time I read their reviews. Now I can't seem to pen a single story without elaborating them till they make no sense even to me.
I used to paint at least once a week and was good at it even though the poses were copied from other Manga, photos, images or Anime and cartoons. Now I hardly draw let alone paint.
I do absolutely nothing but play games, look at facebook, make a fool of myself, get scolded by my family and friends just because I'm too emotional and fail at everything.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?????!!!!!!!!!!
I guess that's all for now.
Thank you to all that drop by and sorry if it's all negative emotional stuff again.
Best Regards,
Sea-chan.
Too many things happening,
Friend's convocation, me failing my Final Year Project, not doing well in Wushu,Singing and pretty much everything.
Other than that, I'm single again and missing him though it was for the best for both of us and our families.
I'm crying again, mostly from confusion, despair and uncertainty.
All I ever wanted was to be a singer, a performer and someone that is loved because I make them happy. But now, I can't seem to do that. I can't even make myself happy.
I'm lost once more, like always.
I love to sing, but many say I'm not good enough and am too emotional. Always being
compared to my younger sister because she's more mature, more beautiful and can do most of the things I wanna do better. Especially singing.
They tell me to accept it and to stop trying. Why?
Just because it's more practical and the most grown-up thing to do?
No way!!!!
They tell me to grow up to stand on my 2 feet, they think I can't do it as I refuse to 'grow-up'.
I'm tired of hearing that and no one understands.
What do u want me to do? Act like an old hag before my time, just like my little sister? NO FRIGGING WAY!!!!!!!!!!
I understand the importance of all this but they don't trust me.
What do I do? What can I do to make this all better?
Wish, dream? Believe in myself? Visualize?
I've watched the movie 'The Secret'. No, not the Chinese movie, but the movie adaptation of the book 'The Secret'.
I want to feel good, I want to think positive, but the environment around me is making me feel otherwise, same goes with the people around me.
Do I not give enough? Do I give too much?
All I can do now is cry my eyes out in sadness, pain, confusion and uncertainty.
What else can I do?
I used to have a nice singing voice, but now, I can't bear to hear myself and be compared to my sister over and over again.
I used to write fan fictions every day and that made my readers smiling every time I read their reviews. Now I can't seem to pen a single story without elaborating them till they make no sense even to me.
I used to paint at least once a week and was good at it even though the poses were copied from other Manga, photos, images or Anime and cartoons. Now I hardly draw let alone paint.
I do absolutely nothing but play games, look at facebook, make a fool of myself, get scolded by my family and friends just because I'm too emotional and fail at everything.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?????!!!!!!!!!!
I guess that's all for now.
Thank you to all that drop by and sorry if it's all negative emotional stuff again.
Best Regards,
Sea-chan.
Comments