Sea Enigma's place

This sure has been a weird day... One minute I'm fine, but now... I'm crying again... Is it because I'm just tired or I am just worried, worried for someone I care about and practically my own skin. Why I worry, it's because I care about him too much and love him so intensely despite being in a long distance relationship. I shouldn't worry, yet I still cry. I may probably just be tired as I did have a long day yesterday, partially from waking up early, going shopping for groceries and swimming. Plus I was on the computer most of the day. Hopefully it's just a change in hormones, from the upcoming new month and lack of sleep. Even so, that is no reason why I should cry, especially when I have found happiness with a guy since my last break up with Kian. Sometimes I really wonder how my head works. I am just hoping this realigning of hormones, emotions and stepping into a new world of jobs won't affect my relationship with friends and family. I would never...

Well I believe it has been some time since i posted anything on here. For starters... I guess I have been busy chatting away on IMVU for one... then there are family gatherings as can be seen below in my cousin's (Nurliza) photographs which she took during my other cousin's (Shazlina) Birthday karaoke session last week. That was fun... Then of course there were other family gather as can be seen in the photos my dad took below (or at least from his camera)... Well that's just the gist of what has been happening despite still being unemployed >_ New objective: - Get a job as a teacher - Take up a Wushu instructor course - Continue my Scuba Diving course - Take up a performing arts course (acting and stage performances) - Continue Singing lessons and maybe take up an instrument - Spend more time with my cousins and other family members - Keep up with friends... (somehow) As for IMVU... IMVU is a virtual chat room with a mix of game (rpg, mmorpg, console g...

About a couple of days ago i just finished writing a really short story. Not entirely original, but it's a start. For those who dropped by, thanks for reading and dropping by :D - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Author’s Note: This is a trial short story and it may derive a bit from my original fan fictions and some of my earlier stories. ---- - - - - - - - ----------------- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dreams along the wind and the sea Stars blanketed the sky and a gentle cool wind blew as a figure lay in wait. His long silver and gold hair danced behind him like raging river rapids. He lay by the seaside clad in no more than his beach shorts on a straw woven mat, with a bag which he used to support his head as he lay gazing at the stars. Waiting, he was, for someone or… something. A gentle breeze blew, kissing his skin as it brushed against him. In his mind, he could envision a silhouette shimmering in the moon light, maiden, ...

Well... I've certainly been distracted...too much it seems. It's been almost a full semester since I have stopped going for classes and going to campus. Really missing it and the Wushu training and my 'brothers'. Plus... the guy whom I thought was interested in me, is practically ignoring me :( Though in a way, it's all well and good as he was not worth it either way. He was a player and too much of a clubber. It made me realize how much I still missed Kian and that I'm not that keen in looking for another just yet, even if lust tells me otherwise. It seems luck of job hunting has not been with me since the year began, but I will keep trying, no matter what anyone says. As I understand how tough the entertainment world is and how tough the world in general is, and yet none believe me. I do believe though that there are nice people where you least expect it. Just yesterday, I was on my way up the Sg. Wang plaza carpark and hit the cu...

To those who visit my blog... though it is late... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! This is the first post for this year 2010.... To be honest, for a new year, my mood has still been reverted to its usual sad and confused self. Again I ask the same questions...: - What is my destiny? - What is my purpose in this world? - What are my capabilities and abilities? - What do I fight for? - Did I make the right choices? - Do I really love him? - Have I gotten over Kian? - Am I really that worthless? - How do I strive to improve? - Is there hope for me in this new relationship with Jeihan? - Is he really a hypocrite and two-faced as they tell me? - Is he the right guy for me? At the end of the day... I am still at loss at what I want, what to decide, how to do things and blur ... wondering if things are real or really what they seem. I care for Jeihan and yet, am I really over Kian? Plus... what do I really wanna do in life? Do i wanna act, sing, do wushu, scuba dive, dance, do video...

I know I do not usually put these sort of posts unless I really-really needed to rant. It's been a tiring 2 weeks plus pretty eventful in some aspects... some to my dislike. Wushu training has gone up a notch and is practically killing most of us mentally as Master Woo is getting pissed off at us again. We'll be doing a 15minute long performance at an 'Aids Charity Event' in Wangsa Maju FYP (Final Year Project) progress is pretty slow, due to some distractions and such. Even so, alot has been done, though there's more to do. As for Kian... my ex, well... I'm slowly getting over him (though i do miss him every now and then) and lately due to some arrangements and pushing by my brother and a 'good' friend of mine... a new guy is in my life. He's charming, good looking, strong, adorable and pretty much an adventurer in his own way. This guy, apparently is also 3 years younger than me and is my brother's friend. So far it's too soon to know...

Well... Not to bad, It's only been about 2 months since my last post. Needed rejuvenation, relaxation and probably just time off from studying, even if it meant lazing about at home. True I didn't even do much to settle the ideas for my course, but really couldn't do much staying at home where everyone is gloomy, tense and at different brain-wave sync. Already 2 months plus since we moved into the new house and the old house still needs to be cleared out. It's stressful, and makes me wonder why we moved, though the old house was in a slight dis-repair after we've lived there for nearly 18+ years. 3 months since my break up, though I still miss him, I'm slowly moving on. But the set back would be, my brain feels dead, though I manja with or manjakan my guy friends and the new ones I make, I seem to not react to them as easily as before. As in, normally I fall for guys very easily, lately, it's quite the opposite. Either I'm just picky or still try...

It's been half a year since I posted here. Too many things happening, Friend's convocation, me failing my Final Year Project, not doing well in Wushu,Singing and pretty much everything. Other than that, I'm single again and missing him though it was for the best for both of us and our families. I'm crying again, mostly from confusion, despair and uncertainty. All I ever wanted was to be a singer, a performer and someone that is loved because I make them happy. But now, I can't seem to do that. I can't even make myself happy. I'm lost once more, like always. I love to sing, but many say I'm not good enough and am too emotional. Always being compared to my younger sister because she's more mature, more beautiful and can do most of the things I wanna do better. Especially singing. They tell me to accept it and to stop trying. Why? Just because it's more practical and the most grown-up thing to do? No way!!!! They tell me to grow up t...

Well, it has been a long time since I posted anything here. A very busy semester this has been and tiring at that. With all the reports and proposals, the Wushu performances, HYJ Wushu Academy International Competition, Dinner & Gathering 2008, Comic Fiesta 2008 and not even time to spend time with my whole family properly without suddenly rushing off. Also, a few nights ago, a nightmare lingering in my thoughts and has been haunting me for nearly a whole week. Though my mind has tried to soothe it, but for some odd reason my heart is not at peace. It is either a sign of paranoia of my current relationship with my boyfriend, a sign I should trust him more, my whole form is changing or a fact that I'm afraid of change. Is this all part of growing up? Am I just thinking too much, being too manja or too clingy till I'm afraid of loosing Kian? Whoo boy, this is really getting complicated. I'll really have to keep myself together if I want to survive after I graduate...

Undeniably, it's good to be back in Cyberjaya though moving back to hostel and on the 4th floor at that will take a while to get used to. Now I see how unfit I really am and will need to back in shape quickly or Master Woo will be making me run more than 10 laps during Wushu. Not only that,there's supposed to be another wushu exam this semester that I only knew about only late last semester. Going to class was ok today, but I'm not sure how I'm going to survive tomorrow. But no pain no gain. I'm just glad to be back in familiar and yet unfamiliar surroundings again as well as being near my boyfriend. This is a very busy semester and I hope I'll be able to juggle my proposals, research, project planning and clubs/societies. A very tiring day and still more to come. But for now, I'll just go with the flow and will try to get as much rest as i can. That's all for today, have to wake up early to go for a morning walk with Melissa Ann. Ja ne and Oyas...

Well, it's nearing my last 2 semesters of University life and I still haven't decided what I really want out of life. Do I wanna devote my self into performing arts full-time or give it up to do finish what I started with Digital Media? I don't know. Not anymore. But one thing does still stand, I still want to be a singer and martial artist. I wish to train harder in Wushu and swimming. Though at the same time, I wish to juggle video making, acting, joining the Young KL Singers again and much more. For some odd reason, my motivation is low and am definitely addicted to Perfect World online and just lazing about. All my inspiration blocked and am not sure how to unblock it. Fear of being laughed at, left alone and disrespected. Indecisiveness and not being able to fend for myself. Looks like I spent too long a time at home and it's driving me crazy. Why am I always crying? At loss at what I want to do and what I can do. Thinking too much and sensitive to ...

Well, It's the 2nd week of the Puasa Month and 2nd last week till my internship ends. Today I gave away the original drawing of my digitally painted artwork : Gave it to Iylia, one of my colleagues from the Accenture team I was assigned to during the Internship period. Was a bit reluctant to part with it, but, no worries, at least i saved it in the computer at home. Also, the most important thing is that she's happy with the gift :) Editing diagrams again today and awaiting some bit of news from my lecturer, whom said they he may come to visit. There's also a new guy assigned to the team temporarily. His name is Ivan and will be with the team for about a month. He's pretty good looking and, like Javier and Adrian, he smokes unlike me, Iylia and Wayne. I guess that's all for today Thanks for dropping by, Ja ne Regards, Sea Enigma / Skarai Clove / Enima

Like the title says, I am having several mixed emotions on certain things. What should or could I do after I've finished my studies or should I carry on studying before I decide to start working? Do I pursue something which I have been wishing to do all my life or obey my parents and pursue the path they wish and hope I would do? I admit, I have a slight obsession with performing, whether or not it is my best, as well as reading fantasy novels, graphic novels, comics, drawing/ painting as well as martial arts and swimming, despite being lower than average. So many paths I could have taken and pursued, but always either pursuing half-way or letting the opportunity slide. Maybe not all, but alot. Though I do also admit that I wouldn't be where I am, or meet the people I know now if I had not gone through this path. I wouldn't have even met my current boyfriend whom I have been dating for almost 9 months now. For the things I like to do I've listed below: - Singi...

As the title says, My internship down to its last few weeks, 3 weeks to be more exact. Within these 3 week I need to : - Finish Filling in the appropriate forms - Re-shuffle my singing lessons - Go to campus to apply for hostel - Create a simple website for the presentation - Organize stuff to be brought to campus for the next sem There are alot of things that I'm looking forward to as well: - Now is the month of Ramadhan and the Fasting month , can't wait to celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri with my family & friends - Going back to campus for my last few months in Uni - Going back to Wushu, Aikido and swimming :) - Participating in clubs and societies - etc... Throughout these 3 and a half months, despite the boringness of researching, compiling and organizing data, designing and drawing diagrams I've enjoyed myself. I admit that I was scared at first, but I seemed to have adapted to the working life and thought of it just like going to school. Overal...

Well, time sure does fly. It's already the 10th week of my internship and I have to start preparing to go back to Cyberjaya. One of these days before my internship ends, I need to either take a day off or something and go to Cyber to apply for hostel. Really want to stay in Cyber, though it's pretty far from civilisation and extremely pricy. Also, I can't wait to see my lecturer when he comes for a visit within the next few weeks. Which reminds me... I really need to start on that website and make a good journal on my internship period. So far... this is what I've done...: - Researching and compiling data and documents on ITIL (IT Infrastructure Library) - Learning more of Excel and Powerpoint - Introduced to a new software called Microsoft Visio - Meeting, dining and attending meetings with the bosses and big bosses. - Compiling Meeting Notes / Meeting minutes - Learning to operate and set up an external projector - Learnt to multitask (not very we...

Well, as the title says, I'm now on Internship/ Industrial Training. It's almost the end of my first week and everything seems to be going pretty well. The colleagues here are pretty nice, but of course, that's not a reason to let my guard down. Though Accenture assigned me to Sime Darby for a project for my intership, and has nothing to do at all with FCM, I'll just have to make the most of it. Just to make sure I fulfill the 14 weeks of Intership requirements. Next to that, now I understand how Mister Woo and Bang Chien Hui feels about juggling work and Wushu. I hope I'll be able to do so too. But I'll have to start now and after work. Atleast start with the lighter ones first then the heavier ones. That's all for now as I'm currently in the office. Ja ne ^_^

Well, it's exam time this week and I'm semi panicking as studying isn't my best trait Next to that... I'm even more clueless about what to do with this apartment as I'm moving out after the exams. I've been living in this house for about 2 years now with 3 (most of the time 2) guys. Yes, I'm a girl but i live with guys, whom I've known since my foundation year at MMU, Cyberjaya (Multimedia University) which was about 4 years ago. Can't believe it's really been that long already. A lot of people call me a weirdo, but I've grown used to it. May not be close to my course-mates, but they're nice people all the same. I have to admit, it's been enjoyable all of theses years here at MMU, doing Wushu performances, taking part in events and competitions (wushu, swimming,etc...), the never-ending assignments and the broken relationships amongst good friends. It has taught me a lot, but I admit, I still have much to learn abo...

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 * Wushu Exam 2008 & End of 07/08 training Just arrived back from the Wushu exam and the last wushu training for this semester and yea 07/08. All I have to say is that I'm exhausted along with my other friends. This was what we had to do for both days of exams: 1st Day ( 29th April) : - Zhi Pen Quan - Basic Hand & Feet Movement (Chang Quan) - Basic Kicks (Chang Quan) - Basic Hand & Feet Movement (Nan Quan) - Basic Kicks (Chang Quan) 2nd Day (6th May) : - Theory (Oral) - Handstand - Pumping - Arch Back (front and back) - Heel Rise - Fist stand (like pumping but, holding position on 3 chairs) - Frog Jump - Race against time up 4 floors (2x) - Star Jump - Split (front, left & right) - Balancing on one leg I have...

Hey everyone, Long time no see. I realize I've not been here for quite some time and really should come more often, but that will have to depend. A lot has happened since I last posted and there's more to come. For Instance.... - I have a boyfriend now and care for him a lot - My new computer is online and am playing many games - Made some new friends and catching up with some old ones (not that old) - Wushu has developed a special place in my heart and hope to go further into it - Took part in several performances and now need to refresh old routines - Assignments are piling in again, but are not a problem What is to come.... - Going for internship / industrial training on June 16th 08 (very nervous) - The Wushu exam and competition - GACC ( Game Anime Comic Convention ) at MMU Melaka - New equipment for Wushu Club - Emina Japanese Animation club Port Dickson trip - Going for a Cameron Highlands trip with friends S...

Well, it's the new year and man, it's coming on so fast. Indeed haven't come here in far too long. Hope to make up for it, minus the obstacles of games, my relationship with my WUshu family and assignments and ... well...won't say it now. Gonna have to really work this coming sem, both in studies and in wushu. Next to that... have to be ready for my internship, and I'm pretty scared :( Maybe i should apply for a part time job, or maybe not. Other than that... I hope all these activities won't keep me from visiting my family, especially since my grandfather became bed-ridden due to the stroke last November T_T I still have a lot to learn and re-learn, plus i need to learn to be more aware of my own personality, especially towards my loved ones. MY OBJECTIVES - To do better academically and in swimming and wushu - To get fit - Have better knowledge in softwares like Sony Vegas, Sound Forge, Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Flash. - To do more writing and ar...