Sea Enigma's place

Hopeful Last Semester and events up to date

2009-11-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

Well...
Not to bad,
It's only been about 2 months since my last post.

Needed rejuvenation, relaxation and probably just time off from studying, even if it meant lazing about at home. True I didn't even do much to settle the ideas for my course, but really couldn't do much staying at home where everyone is gloomy, tense and at different brain-wave sync.

Already 2 months plus since we moved into the new house and the old house still needs to be cleared out. It's stressful, and makes me wonder why we moved, though the old house was in a slight dis-repair after we've lived there for nearly 18+ years.

3 months since my break up, though I still miss him, I'm slowly moving on. But the set back would be, my brain feels dead, though I manja with or manjakan my guy friends and the new ones I make, I seem to not react to them as easily as before. As in, normally I fall for guys very easily, lately, it's quite the opposite. Either I'm just picky or still trying pick myself up from the previous one.

Some friends have helped and I thank them for that.

Though the saddest thing would be my grandfather's recent passing. Sure he's in a better place right now and paying time in the alam kubur, but I still miss him. I may not have been as close to him as some of my other family members, but being the most manja in my age group, the pain is worse as I admit I am very clingy.

Now is the starting of the 2nd trimester and it's already the 2nd week. Still my motivation is on the down low and my attitude and personality need patching up. Can't afford to fail again, not this time, as my ambitions are at stake.

I've joined back the Wushu and Emina Japanese Animation club at MMU Cyber. In fact, just got back today from Melaka as we had a Halloween Night trip to A'Famosa's Halloween Party night.

Though it was a tiring time and some of us were un-well for a while during the trip... Overall it was fun and made a few new friends, especially an MMU Melaka junior who's Emina and Anime nickname was 'Hunter', he was a mere 'kitten' with me and was only 18. And though my mind was not set on getting a new guy at the time... This boy had all the qualities (well most of them actually) I looked for in a guy.

He had a Chinese look,was adorable, easy to talk to, manja, pretty good looking, fit and nice to hug. Though I think that, he was already taken. Even so, even having him as an 'adik angkat' is good enough for me as he doesn't have any siblings, just like my 'abang angkat' Eugene.

I guess that's all for now as I need to sleep.
Got class at 9am in the morning and need to chase the lecturers and faculty staff members as for some odd reason, the system won't allow me to register for my subjects. Now I need to apply for the course manually.

Okie...
Oyasumi / Wan an and Good night

Why? What should I do? Stop trying? Why should I?

2009-08-13T23:54:00.001+08:00

It's been half a year since I posted here.
Too many things happening,
Friend's convocation, me failing my Final Year Project, not doing well in Wushu,Singing and pretty much everything.

Other than that, I'm single again and missing him though it was for the best for both of us and our families.

I'm crying again, mostly from confusion, despair and uncertainty.

All I ever wanted was to be a singer, a performer and someone that is loved because I make them happy. But now, I can't seem to do that. I can't even make myself happy.

I'm lost once more, like always.

I love to sing, but many say I'm not good enough and am too emotional. Always being
compared to my younger sister because she's more mature, more beautiful and can do most of the things I wanna do better. Especially singing.

They tell me to accept it and to stop trying. Why?
Just because it's more practical and the most grown-up thing to do?

No way!!!!

They tell me to grow up to stand on my 2 feet, they think I can't do it as I refuse to 'grow-up'.

I'm tired of hearing that and no one understands.
What do u want me to do? Act like an old hag before my time, just like my little sister? NO FRIGGING WAY!!!!!!!!!!

I understand the importance of all this but they don't trust me.

What do I do? What can I do to make this all better?
Wish, dream? Believe in myself? Visualize?

I've watched the movie 'The Secret'. No, not the Chinese movie, but the movie adaptation of the book 'The Secret'.

I want to feel good, I want to think positive, but the environment around me is making me feel otherwise, same goes with the people around me.

Do I not give enough? Do I give too much?

All I can do now is cry my eyes out in sadness, pain, confusion and uncertainty.
What else can I do?

I used to have a nice singing voice, but now, I can't bear to hear myself and be compared to my sister over and over again.

I used to write fan fictions every day and that made my readers smiling every time I read their reviews. Now I can't seem to pen a single story without elaborating them till they make no sense even to me.

I used to paint at least once a week and was good at it even though the poses were copied from other Manga, photos, images or Anime and cartoons. Now I hardly draw let alone paint.

I do absolutely nothing but play games, look at facebook, make a fool of myself, get scolded by my family and friends just because I'm too emotional and fail at everything.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?????!!!!!!!!!!

I guess that's all for now.
Thank you to all that drop by and sorry if it's all negative emotional stuff again.

Best Regards,
Sea-chan.

Busy Busy Busy, Happy, But why am I crying?

2008-12-23T00:39:00.002+08:00

Well, it has been a long time since I posted anything here.
A very busy semester this has been and tiring at that.

With all the reports and proposals, the Wushu performances, HYJ Wushu Academy International Competition, Dinner & Gathering 2008, Comic Fiesta 2008 and not even time to spend time with my whole family properly without suddenly rushing off.

Also, a few nights ago, a nightmare lingering in my thoughts and has been haunting me for nearly a whole week. Though my mind has tried to soothe it, but for some odd reason my heart is not at peace. It is either a sign of paranoia of my current relationship with my boyfriend, a sign I should trust him more, my whole form is changing or a fact that I'm afraid of change.

Is this all part of growing up? Am I just thinking too much, being too manja or too clingy till I'm afraid of loosing Kian? Whoo boy, this is really getting complicated.

I'll really have to keep myself together if I want to survive after I graduate next year. Also, I'll need to figure out what I really want instead of just sitting here and crying all the time. Next to that, I may need to start praying more often as I haven't been doing so since before the month of Ramadan this year.

Yosh,
Gambatteh and Jia yo and thank you for all who stop by here.
Ja ne and Arigato Gozaimasu :)

Back in Cyberjaya and readjusting to the environment

2008-11-11T01:01:00.002+08:00

Undeniably, it's good to be back in Cyberjaya though moving back to hostel and on the 4th floor at that will take a while to get used to.

Now I see how unfit I really am and will need to back in shape quickly or Master Woo will be making me run more than 10 laps during Wushu. Not only that,there's supposed to be another wushu exam this semester that I only knew about only late last semester.

Going to class was ok today, but I'm not sure how I'm going to survive tomorrow. But no pain no gain. I'm just glad to be back in familiar and yet unfamiliar surroundings again as well as being near my boyfriend.

This is a very busy semester and I hope I'll be able to juggle my proposals, research, project planning and clubs/societies. A very tiring day and still more to come.

But for now, I'll just go with the flow and will try to get as much rest as i can.

That's all for today,
have to wake up early to go for a morning walk with Melissa Ann.

Ja ne and Oyasuminasai

My authentic japanese name is 藤原 Fujiwara (wisteria fields) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
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My Japanese name is Arisa Arishima.
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My Goals and Dreams - What do I do?

2008-10-19T20:59:00.002+08:00

Well, it's nearing my last 2 semesters of University life and I still haven't decided what I really want out of life. Do I wanna devote my self into performing arts full-time or give it up to do finish what I started with Digital Media?

I don't know. Not anymore.
But one thing does still stand, I still want to be a singer and martial artist.
I wish to train harder in Wushu and swimming. Though at the same time, I wish to juggle video making, acting, joining the Young KL Singers again and much more.

For some odd reason, my motivation is low and am definitely addicted to Perfect World online and just lazing about.
All my inspiration blocked and am not sure how to unblock it.

Fear of being laughed at, left alone and disrespected.
Indecisiveness and not being able to fend for myself.
Looks like I spent too long a time at home and it's driving me crazy.

Why am I always crying?
At loss at what I want to do and what I can do.
Thinking too much and sensitive to what others say and do.

Too many household problems that I don't even know where to start and some I don't
think I should reveal, online like this.

I guess the only things I can do at the moment are :
- Practice Wushu harder
- Read more
- Analyse my characters in Perfect World to apply in the D&D sessions
- Write
- Try to draw and make more videos
- Talk to my boyfriend about this

I guess that's all,
To those who stop by and read, thanx for reading

Oyasum-nasai
Good Night
Selamat Malam

Countdown - 2 weeks to go

2008-09-08T08:52:00.003+08:00

Well,
It's the 2nd week of the Puasa Month and 2nd last week till my internship ends.

Today I gave away the original drawing of my digitally painted artwork :

Gave it to Iylia, one of my colleagues from the Accenture team I was assigned to during the Internship period. Was a bit reluctant to part with it, but, no worries, at least i saved it in the computer at home. Also, the most important thing is that she's happy with the gift :)

Editing diagrams again today and awaiting some bit of news from my lecturer, whom said they he may come to visit.

There's also a new guy assigned to the team temporarily. His name is Ivan and will be with the team for about a month. He's pretty good looking and, like Javier and Adrian, he smokes unlike me, Iylia and Wayne.

I guess that's all for today

Thanks for dropping by,

Ja ne

Regards,
Sea Enigma / Skarai Clove / Enima

Obsession, Passion and Confusion

2008-09-04T08:41:00.003+08:00

Like the title says,
I am having several mixed emotions on certain things.
What should or could I do after I've finished my studies or should I carry on studying before I decide to start working?
Do I pursue something which I have been wishing to do all my life or obey my parents and pursue the path they wish and hope I would do?

I admit, I have a slight obsession with performing, whether or not it is my best, as well as reading fantasy novels, graphic novels, comics, drawing/ painting as well as martial arts and swimming, despite being lower than average.

So many paths I could have taken and pursued, but always either pursuing half-way or letting the opportunity slide. Maybe not all, but alot.

Though I do also admit that I wouldn't be where I am, or meet the people I know now if I had not gone through this path. I wouldn't have even met my current boyfriend whom I have been dating for almost 9 months now.

For the things I like to do I've listed below:
- Singing
- Reading
- Writing
- Performing (wushu, dancing(though I'm not that good), acting(need practice)...etc..)
- Play video games (whether on portable consoles,PS2,Computer or online games etc...)
- Baking (cookies, brownies & cakes)
- Painting
- Playing sports (martial arts, swimming, scuba diving & badminton)
- Creating fanvideos or videos

There are many more, but these are the main ones.
Those could be either my interests or my passions or even both.

The confusion lies not only in what I should or could do for the rest of my life, but also with who I would spend my life with.

A little sappy, I know.
Well, I'm happy with my boyfriend though we've been seeing each other rarely since I started my internship and moved out of my apartment in Cyberjaya.But for some reason I'm a tad confused with how the relationship is going.

True he is my first BF and is at least 5 years my senior and my graduated senior in MMU, Cyber. But as much as I care for him, for some reason I feel a bit distant.
Unsure whether I don't spend enough time with him or it's because of my old habit of being very clingy to those familiar around me, or if my feelings towards him are true or not.

But, will wait another year and see where it takes us, despite our religious background differences between our families. He is a Buddhist and I am Muslim.

********** ************ ********

We first met during my foundation year at MMU in the Game Developers club (GDC) in 2004/2005. We weren't close at the time, just acquaintances and he had just graduated in August that year.

In my 2nd year, during the 1st Sem of the Trimester, I met him again after being introduced to the pen & paper RPG replica game of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) by 2 of my friends whom were in the GDC club and Emina Japanese Animation club.

From there, the crush began as next to my other senior of same faculty, I was the only girl in the game and the group. It was there I started having crushes on my bf and 2 other guys, one within the D&D group (chinese) and the other a temporary wushu member studying at CUCMS in Street Mall, a malay boy.

Long story short, for the year I started playing with them, I somehow got attracted to them more and more. Though most of the time I was either too clingy or just plain blur.

Eventually, after my 21st Birthday party, I confessed my feelings. Shocked I was when he revealed that he was waiting for me to confess after the 2nd year playing D&D with the group.

It became official on the 1st of January after some 'discussion'.

The end. Really long winded and sappy or then again maybe not.

******** ******* ****** ******* ********* ********* **********

OKay alot has been revealed in this post.
Please forgive me if it is very long and alot of things being repeated.

Well,
I guess that's all I have to say for today.

Thank you for all those who have dropped by :) and willing to read my posts

Arigato Gozaimas, Terima Kasih,
Ja ne , See ya

Anime personality

Chosen

You see yourself as someone who lives to help others and make sure they're happy.... You don't usually worry about yourself others are more important to you. Although you help people you don't always get much back from them.

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whats ur anime element???????????????????

earth

caring and nurturing ur always there for friends and family giving them a stable place to live.

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Which Anime Guy is Right for You? (Girls Only)

Darrien

Darrien was orphaned at a young age and doesn't really remember who he truely is.He makes fun of the girl that he likes by insulting their hair or calling them stupid. But once he lets her know how he feels, he acts all lovey-dovey. He's really romantic and kind once you get to know him. He is secretly a superhero named Tuxedo Mask. Congratulations!

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Internship Countdown to end

2008-09-03T09:11:00.004+08:00

As the title says,
My internship down to its last few weeks, 3 weeks to be more exact.
Within these 3 week I need to :

- Finish Filling in the appropriate forms
- Re-shuffle my singing lessons
- Go to campus to apply for hostel
- Create a simple website for the presentation
- Organize stuff to be brought to campus for the next sem

There are alot of things that I'm looking forward to as well:

- Now is the month of Ramadhan and the Fasting month , can't wait to celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri with my family & friends
- Going back to campus for my last few months in Uni
- Going back to Wushu, Aikido and swimming :)
- Participating in clubs and societies
- etc...

Throughout these 3 and a half months, despite the boringness of researching, compiling and organizing data, designing and drawing diagrams I've enjoyed myself.

I admit that I was scared at first, but I seemed to have adapted to the working life and thought of it just like going to school.

Overall, this was a good internship and i hope my CyberP would be just as fun as my Internship with Accenture in Wisma Sime Darby.

That's all for now,

Before I end this post,
to all the Muslims that pass by this blog,
I'm wishing a Selamat Berbulan Puasa / A Happy Month of Ramadhan and
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri :)

Take care and
Ja ne ^_^

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One month left , more or less

2008-08-21T12:14:00.001+08:00

Well, time sure does fly.

It's already the 10th week of my internship and I have to start preparing to go back to Cyberjaya.

One of these days before my internship ends, I need to either take a day off or something and go to Cyber to apply for hostel. Really want to stay in Cyber, though it's pretty far from civilisation and extremely pricy.

Also, I can't wait to see my lecturer when he comes for a visit within the next few weeks. Which reminds me... I really need to start on that website and make a good journal on my internship period.

So far... this is what I've done...:

- Researching and compiling data and documents on ITIL (IT Infrastructure Library)

- Learning more of Excel and Powerpoint

- Introduced to a new software called Microsoft Visio

- Meeting, dining and attending meetings with the bosses and big bosses.

- Compiling Meeting Notes / Meeting minutes

- Learning to operate and set up an external projector

- Learnt to multitask (not very well though)

- Attended an Accenture Intern Gathering which was pretty fun

- & ... got to know some really cool people like the vendors from BMC, my colleagues and ...the bosses

That's all i can remember so far.

Next to that... the singing lessons I've attended has really changed the way I see certain songs. But ... will talk more on that another day.

Thx for reading, for those who dropped by.

Ja ne

Internship Time

2008-06-19T08:49:00.002+08:00

Well,
as the title says, I'm now on Internship/ Industrial Training.
It's almost the end of my first week and everything seems to be going pretty well.

The colleagues here are pretty nice, but of course, that's not a reason to let my guard down. Though Accenture assigned me to Sime Darby for a project for my intership, and has nothing to do at all with FCM, I'll just have to make the most of it. Just to make sure I fulfill the 14 weeks of Intership requirements.

Next to that, now I understand how Mister Woo and Bang Chien Hui feels about juggling work and Wushu. I hope I'll be able to do so too. But I'll have to start now and after work.

Atleast start with the lighter ones first then the heavier ones.

That's all for now as I'm currently in the office.

Ja ne ^_^

Exam Time

2008-05-12T19:18:00.001+08:00

Well,
it's exam time this week and I'm semi panicking as studying isn't my best trait
Next to that... I'm even more clueless about what to do with this apartment as I'm moving out after the exams.
I've been living in this house for about 2 years now with 3 (most of the time 2) guys.

Yes, I'm a girl but i live with guys, whom I've known since my foundation year at MMU, Cyberjaya (Multimedia University) which was about 4 years ago. Can't believe it's really been that long already.

A lot of people call me a weirdo, but I've grown used to it. May not be close to my course-mates, but they're nice people all the same. I have to admit, it's been enjoyable all of theses years here at MMU, doing Wushu performances, taking part in events and competitions (wushu, swimming,etc...), the never-ending assignments and the broken relationships amongst good friends.

It has taught me a lot, but I admit, I still have much to learn about society, if i were to survive in the outside world.

That's all for now,
For those having exams...
Jia Yo & Gambatte Kudasai !!!
Good luck and do your best!!!

Ja Ne

Wushu Exam

2008-05-07T02:09:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

*
Wushu Exam 2008 & End of 07/08 training

Just arrived back from the Wushu exam and the last wushu training for this semester and yea 07/08.
All I have to say is that I'm exhausted along with my other friends.

This was what we had to do for both days of exams:

1st Day ( 29th April) :
- Zhi Pen Quan
- Basic Hand & Feet Movement (Chang Quan)
- Basic Kicks (Chang Quan)
- Basic Hand & Feet Movement (Nan Quan)
- Basic Kicks (Chang Quan)

2nd Day (6th May) :
- Theory (Oral)
- Handstand
- Pumping
- Arch Back (front and back)
- Heel Rise
- Fist stand (like pumping but, holding position on 3 chairs)
- Frog Jump
- Race against time up 4 floors (2x)
- Star Jump
- Split (front, left & right)
- Balancing on one leg

I have to admit, as tiring as it was, the 'Effort' felt pretty good. Now in a way... it has inspired me a bit to train a little harder (hopefully won't get distracted by video games and such) .

Well that's all for now, need to take a shower and sleep. Have a presentation in the afternoon.

Oyasumi nasai( Selamat Malam & Good Night)

Annoying as it is, I'm back for now

2008-02-27T19:38:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone,
Long time no see.

I realize I've not been here for quite some time and really should come more often, but that will have to depend.

A lot has happened since I last posted and there's more to come.

For Instance....

- I have a boyfriend now and care for him a lot
- My new computer is online and am playing many games
- Made some new friends and catching up with some old ones (not that old)
- Wushu has developed a special place in my heart and hope to go further into it
- Took part in several performances and now need to refresh old routines
- Assignments are piling in again, but are not a problem

What is to come....

- Going for internship / industrial training on June 16th 08 (very nervous)
- The Wushu exam and competition
- GACC ( Game Anime Comic Convention ) at MMU Melaka
- New equipment for Wushu Club
- Emina Japanese Animation club Port Dickson trip
- Going for a Cameron Highlands trip with friends

So many things happening and going to happens till I'm unsure what to do or where to start.

The weather here is unpredictable as usual and gives a semi 'lazy' air about it.
But the good thing is... a nap or sleep for everyone.

That's all for now.
Till Next Time,

Ja ne

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New Year and New challenges 2008

2008-01-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the new year and man, it's coming on so fast.

Indeed haven't come here in far too long. Hope to make up for it, minus the obstacles of games, my relationship with my WUshu family and assignments and ... well...won't say it now.

Gonna have to really work this coming sem, both in studies and in wushu.
Next to that... have to be ready for my internship, and I'm pretty scared :(

Maybe i should apply for a part time job, or maybe not.
Other than that... I hope all these activities won't keep me from visiting my family, especially since my grandfather became bed-ridden due to the stroke last November T_T

I still have a lot to learn and re-learn, plus i need to learn to be more aware of my own personality, especially towards my loved ones.

MY OBJECTIVES

- To do better academically and in swimming and wushu
- To get fit
- Have better knowledge in softwares like Sony Vegas, Sound Forge, Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Flash.
- To do more writing and artworks
- To have a better relationship with friends and family

I guess that's all for now :)

Thanx for reading and Take care everyone.

Oh yeah,

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR to everyone

Very Tired and yet Energetic

2007-07-20T02:47:00.000+08:00

The weeks are going by faster and faster as this 1st sem passes. Come to think of it, so is the year. It seems that the more time I waste or misuse makes me feel either lazier or regretful.

This needs to be fixed and I feel so tired. The more I waste the more weary and lazy i get. I may be tired, but a weird surge of energy seems to push me one (especially when it comes to non-'work'related stuff.

Weird I would say.

Anyway, as not to continue anything 'Emo' , I state some exciting events of this week.

- The Anime Club Annual General Meeting (AGM)
- Theatre Class
- Wushu Club Annual General Meeting (AGM)

It was fun during the Anime / Emina AGM , despite the lack of people. We watched videos and had the long awaited Treasure Hunt
which made us run all over campus.

Made new friends and was nominated as Assistant Sponsorship a High Comm. in the club.

The night was pretty enjoyable and after the AGM we went to 'yamcha' at Oldtown- Kopitiam cafe not far from campus.

Then there was the Theatre class, my Co-curriculum subject I took for this semester. It was cool so far despite being under Ms. Nell's hard teachings. It's fun, just like Kak Ija said it would be, but it's a lot of work.

Next was the Wushu AGM.

I must say that there is not much to be said as training was done like usual and this time I went to AIkido before training this time.

Like last years AGM I made some new friends and went for the interview to be a commitee member to te club. It doesn't matter if I get the position as maybe it's about time I concentrated more on my work.

I guess that's all as I'm getting really sleepy, despite having my hair still wet from the shower just now.

Ja ne

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Gold You are gold, pure, rich and rare.
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Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are You? (pics)
Leonardo You're mature and get the job done. You are a natural born leader, and normally want to be the better of the group. You take your job seriously. You must! It may NOT be a game. When you select a sport, or something you want to do, you train continueously, constantly trying to perfect it. You're always prepared for a challenge, and are normally found one step ahead of your enemies. Loving family more than life itself, you are a good friend, and can be depended on at all times.
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Very long time but what can i do

2007-07-16T01:44:00.000+08:00

I realise it's been quite some time since I posted anything up here.

All I can say is that nothing much has happened except a few events. Namely : -

Last weeks -

- Wushu Orientation Night
- Talk by Group CEO Dato' Abdul Wahid Omar
- Club Registration week for Year 2007/2008 + performance
- Japanese Bon Odori Festival at Panasonic Sports Centre ( Matsushita Stadium) in Shah Alam

Next to that are the usual assignments and submissions, nothing else special.

For this coming week theres a few AGMs (Annual Gathering Meetings) for most of the clubs and societies.

I'll be going for the ones for Wushu Club (this Thursday) and the one for the EMINA club (this Wednesday). But of course assignments have to come first.

3 months gone

2007-04-21T20:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, 3 or more months have gone by and so far, I don't think I've fulfilled any of my new years resolutions T_T

Even so, I'll keep on trying as if I want to succeed I'll have to keep going and not give up. Sure... I seem to be sacrificing alot of my assignment time for other things, but I'm trying to not complain and to live with it.

I've even started taking in requests from people to draw and paint for them (well one anyway). Other than that, I have a lot of plans for this year and I hope I can fulfill them before the year on the month is through.

So far, despite the fact that I hardly ever paint lately, but I like the results of my artworks at the end of the day. Though my sister says otherwise and prefers my shading technique to my painting. But I won't complain as other people have their own preferences on things.

Anyway, above would be the paintings which I have done so far this year and hopefully will do more soon.

Other than that, I've gone to the max with Wushu. My stamina may not be up to the level but I have to volunteered to follow a performance with the outside Wushu members and the 'HYJ Wushu Academy' where my Sifoo teaches.

The performance will be at Dataran Merdeka on the 28th of April and I heard the Yg. Dipertuan Agong will be present as well. I'm excited as well as terrified as I'll be practicing with people more senior and better than me and will be performing in front of a V.V.V.VIP.

But I have faith that all will go well as I will not give up.
That's all for now,
I'll try to keep everyone posted on the events and I thank everyone who dropped by my blog all this while ^_^ :)

Thanks and TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)

Sea Enigma

Long time and what do i do about it?

2007-01-17T15:16:00.000+08:00

It most definitely has been a long time since I posted here.

Too long in fact and som much has happened.

- moved from Kak Fung Yen's apartment to Yong's and Sharil's.
- had more assignments to deal with
- MMU Wushu Intergration Day is coming soon
- There's the Hou Yuan Jia Wushu dance still in commence
- There's the Swim Club - 'Swimming Carnival' (hopefully)
- Have Dungeons and Dragons RPG sessions and Utpoia in my free time now

Basically there's alot going on and I'm eitherl azing about or just not doing anything about what i need to do.

It has to change soon or I won't be fulfilling any of my New Year's resolutions or keeping to my promise to my aunt (Mak Enda).

Whatever it is, I have to start soon and get rid of my fears.

I guess that's all for now.

C ya soon.

Dad's & Mr Woo's B'day & still no word about my monitor T_T

2006-10-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

Well looks like an 'interesting' day today, despite the temper tantrums and lack of sleep.
But the lack of sleep was worth it as I managed to finish a great painting of Batman for my dad's birthday today (actually yesterday looking at the time) 11/10/1959.

Sadly can't show it as my PC monitor hasn't come back yet from my mom's colleague. Had some problems with it, and it may have short-fused back in Cyber.
but once it comes back will be sure to post it along with a few more artworks hopefully.

Besides that, just got to know that on the same day, it's also my Wushu Master's birthday, too :0
Looks like one more gift art about to be popped into the oven.

Well... I think that's all and I may be online for a while.

To all who's birthday is the 11th of october, I wish you all a HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY!!! and good night.

Selamat Berbulan Puasa (even if it's a little late for that ^^; )

2006-10-12T01:16:00.000+08:00

Well it's that time of year again and we're in the middle of the fasting month.

Besides that, exams are over and now it's the holidays :w00t: .
Though... I can't seem to understand why I don't feel any difference unless it's just me.

The next sem will be starting soon, more or less within a month and like my adoptive brothers and sisters told me, time to start anew. Even if it does take time to achieve ^^; ;P .

Well, was glad that I went to my grandmother's Kenduri yesterday as was glad to be around family again :D . Have been away from them for quite a while, but not as bad as my cousin in New Zealand though .

As for my plans for this holidays... I've not fully decided yet, but...
this would be a vague list of what I might do:

1. Visit my 'sister' in Seremban (haven't seen her in years ^^; )

2. Spend time with my family members

3. Try to train my Wushu ( stamina and muscle building along with smoothening my routines)

4. Practice some drawing

5. Playing Video games

6. Finishing or composing stories and fanfictions

7. Catch up on some readng material (Books, Comics and such)

8. Learning more on creating AMVs

That should be it and may update it before the holidays are over :) .

well I guess that's all,
For all MMU students I would like to wish you all GOOD LUCK to those still having exams.
For those whom already finished, I wish you all Happy Holidays and as for all Muslims .

Selamat Berpuasa ,& Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin :D

Head spins, juggling too many tasks and emotions

2006-09-12T14:22:00.000+08:00

ok... let me see... Bangkok, Class and Combined training

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 16, 2006, 3:43 AM
Right...

Latest events of My life:

- Trip for 2 nights in Bangkok with mom:

Was in Bangkok for about from wednesday to friday last week with my mom. We went in the morning to the Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) by bus and from there we took an Air Asia flight to Bangkok.

Once in Bangkok, we checked into the 'Ambassador Hotel'. The room we stayed in was cozy, despite the slight tinge of old about it as we stayed in the old wing.

Being the first day and first time i was there, we , qoute from my mom went "...shooopping..." .

Went to many interesting places while I was there and even went for foot and thai massages.

Places I went and what I did:

- MBK shopping center
- Chatuchak Market (on Friday before coming home)
- Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaeo
- went on a choa phraya express boat ride , on a tuk-tuk, the skytrain , the subway and a river taxi
- Mount Gold (or was it Golden Mount)
- tasted 3 types of Dairy Queen 'Blizzard' ice cream (Mocha Almond Fudge,
Brownie supreme (or something like that) and Extreme Chocolate ^_^
:D)
- Jim Thompson's
- Patpong Night market
- Suan Luam Night Bazaar

As my time there was quite limited, that was all we could do there and I must admit, I enjoyed myself :) :XD: (despite some fuses from my mom ^^; ).

That should be all for my trip to Bangkok and will add more if I remember anything else ;P .

MMU Convocation 2006:

The paintball I took part in was actually part of the Convocation week of this year.

Was a little disappointed that the Convocation week clashed with our mid-term break as a lot of events were missed. But even so, I was glad I managed to attend the last day as it was then many of my friends and seniors graduated.

Would miss them all alot and hope to meet them all again in the future :) .

- Class continues as usual :

Not much can be said about this as classes are still the same to me.
Besides that, we're all as sleepy/ tired as ever and thinking that the mid-term break was too short ^^; .

More assignments are coming up and still havent figured out on what to do for Visual Programming :tears:.

- This weekend, Wushu Combined training with MMU Malacca:

Yeah, another combined training with MMU Malacca Campus here at MMU Cyber. It would be great to meet them all again, had fun during the last combined training with them last semester.

That's all I have to report till the next time.
ok, gtg and good night / good morning ^^; .

Long time no post *sigh*

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 9, 2006, 12:50 AM

Man... it's been a long time and I must say alot has happened.

But as not to go into too much detail, I'll make a long story short.

All events include:

- Bon Odori event trip with Emina Club
- Kung Fu Night at Tar College - Wushu Club
- weekly rpg sessions, club activities and meetings with friends;
and last but not least,
- Paintball Tornument at MMU Convofest with friends

Now it's the middle of the mid-term break and there's still alot to be done, which include :

- Assignments and Projects
- Club activites , proposals and responsibilities
- Drawing and Writing (still needs improvement)
- Household chores (in the apartment especially) ;
& most importantly
- better time management

That would be all to report as I have to go.
Till next update ,
Ja Ne

....
...
..
............

Er... minor update ...
I'm currently not in Malaysia at the moment. Am in Bangkok with my mom, but will be back online on saturday evening ^^; .

Gomen for not posting this earlier.
will make it up to you somehow :cries: .

That's all folks (if not the cybercafe people will charge me more than I expect ^^; )

Ja ne,
till I'm back in Cyber .

Head spins, juggling too many tasks and emotions
Journal Entry: Fri Sep 8, 2006, 2:47 AM

:yawn: Well haven't updated since my trip to Bangkok, so might as well do it now while I'm still sane and awake :yawnstretch: .

On top of all of these events, assignments are still at large and really need my attention ASAP .

Latest news:

1. Went to Genting Highlands with , , and the ever so lovable Rekka :) . Alot of unfortunate events happened but of course like everything... every cloud has a silver lining and i really need to control my emotions better ^^; .

Had fun despite everything though, but I really should keep a reminder about
keeping a back-up stash as well as saving my funds better ;P . Anyway, all that is in the past and I have other things to worry about now.

2. Lots of birthdays this month I need to take note of including my sister's , my two grandmothers and a few of my friends from the YKLS (miss them dearly :tears: )

Sigh... My sister just turned 13 just a few hours ago and my grandmother (mother's mom) will be turning 83 (or was it 84) and... even my vector graphics lecturer just turned 23 on Monday this week.

My other grandmother will be turning around 70 something (lost count) next saturday and sadly i won't be able to attend :cries: ( reason will be posted shortly).

Seriously need to set a list of birthday gifts now ^^; .

3. Next week on the 16th of September, I'll be participating in a Wushu Competittion along with a few other Wushu CLub members at USM, Kelantan.

We'll be taking an overnight bus there, on the 15th, and hopefully we'll be in ship shape to perform that day. Busses may be comfortable, but up to a certain extent
:yaen: :doi: .

It's my first ever competition and I'm looking forward to it (despite being terrified stiff :nirvana: )

4. Besides that, more sad things have come about recently such as the passing of Steve Irwin the energetic host of the much loved 'Crocodile Hunter' .

He will be missed greatly by his family, his friends and all who love him.

Though... that's not the only thing in my mind.

One of my aunts, Aunty Niki, has been emmited to the hospital in the Radiotherapy ward where I was once emmited in (want to know my story, send me a note nicely). :tears: :cries:

Seeing her in that state brought tears to my eyes and even if i tried to pull them back they kept on flowing. My uncle John was distraught besides his soberness. As for kak Suzanne and bang Alex , I think the sword would cut them quite badly too. ( i call my cousins bang or kak was taught since young).

Why is it that all my family members are going one by one? I just hope she pulls through successfully and atleast lives till bang Alex gets married or even longer than that :( .

I guess that's all or I'll be too distraught to finish this storyboard.

Ja ne and thanx for reading.

Razer: Don't cry Enima :cuddle: :petting:
Enima: Trying to Razer but it keeps on coming :tears:.
Razer: She'll be alright, just pray for her :smooch:

Dante: Hey... what's wrong? *looks at above post* Oh, don't cry.
Vergil: Why is she crying , Dante?
Dante: Look up, Verge.
Vergil: Is that all? I thought it's because she fought with Razer :mwahaha:.

Enima: :cries:
Razer & Aerith: Vergil, you're not helping !!!!
Cloud: Come on. Vergil, since you made things worse, go cheer her up :katana: .

Vergil: If I have to in front of Razer. *goes to Enima* Please stop crying :petting: she'll be alright :hug:.

Enima: thanx everyone. :sniff: :(

(thought I'd put a little humour ^^; ;P )

ps: will add pics a little later ^^;;

Late as usual at posting current events ^^;;

2006-07-25T04:49:00.000+08:00

Again as usual, I now post some info of the life I've been living for the past month or so.

Well one event that would interest everyone would of course be the Bon Odori event
and trip to Port Klang for a group assignment for my course.

The trip for the project was interesting to say the least and though I may not be the best group mate Ijust hope my attitude would be better soon. Anyway, it should turn out well, but still early to say.

Next would be the Bon Odori event 2 weeks ago. I went with the EMINA club at MMU Cyber and was glad I went as well as can't believe what I've been missing before. Had loads of fun and ate my fill :) :D .

There were lots of food stalls and such till I couldn't choose which I liked better.
Managed to eat some sushi, octopus balls , tried a bit of my friend's curry and japanese ice ^_^ (yummy) .

Besides that, joined in the traditional dances and met my DA friends there.

That's all to report for now, getting blurer and blurer by the minute @_@ .
good night.

DA group -1
Saku Shooga
Remains of my yummy dessert :D
Ivan Aizat & Ewa
Cloud & Aerith out of Costume
Emina - 2
Emina 1
Ivan and his Udon

What Personality Do You Have?

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What is Your Anime Zodiac?

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Which anime boy is for you?

Kurama!!! Kurama is perfect for you! He DOES have his perverted moments...but he is a sweet hearted, romantic guy. You can always rely on him to make you a happy girlfriend. Enjoy! ^_^
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Which anime boy is for you?

Sadness, why sadness, this is not the really me T_T

2006-05-05T02:22:00.000+08:00

Well... looks like my fears have come to past and now all I'm doing is crying every day and every night. What for and why, that's the problem.
I've not been who I should be and do what i should do till i suffered the consequences. I know I've not been trustworthy and such for this sem. i've realised that I've grown distant of myself (my real self) and need to change once more as I'm not giving up.

yeah, the same old babble as last time but i guess when this sem is over it's time for another big change. Others will be the judge of what i become and hopefully i don't have to elongate this funny problem over and over agian as by now, many are probably pissed with me for being such a monster.

That's probably all I have to rant out this time for the bad stuff.

For the good things, this holiday, I have a trip to Singapore to look forward to as well as long awaited scuba diving training which I've missed for at least 4 years.
will get my licence this time and when I do, I'll go diving more (hopefully)

Your Mood Ring is Magenta

Weird

Creative

Insipired

Thriving

Mood Ring Generator

Your Mood Ring is Blue

Relaxed

At ease

Calm

Lovable

Mood Ring Generator

Your Mood Ring is Blue-Green

Inner emotions charged

Yet, somewhat relaxed

Mood Ring Generator

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others.

You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.

The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it.

Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Ok... some things are just long overdue ^_^;;;.

2006-04-23T00:49:00.000+08:00

well... Like title says, there are alot of things overdue, besides my assignments like photos and such from various occasions. For instance, the MMU Rakan Muda Swim Carnival 2006, along with a few other past photos i never got to post.

Alot has happened to me lately till all that drove me on was an inner most monster that had been sealed away long ago. But I've realised things now and thought that it's about time that I recollect the pieces of me that shattered to remold it into something better.

Hmm... I'm sure that none of you would like to hear all that sort of nonsense and stuff about myself. So... here are some things that you may enjoy better.
Here are the latest photos I've taken within this sem.

Ok maybe not all but i guess just for the Swim Carnival for now .

Swimmers 1
Azlan, Zaim & Lawrence
Ken Li , Yee Yong & Me
Ken-li and me
Swimmers-1

(sorry, the pics were quite big so if you want to view them... click on the links ^^; sorry for the inconveniences)

What am I supposed to do?

2006-04-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ok, I admit, I'm very confused with myself right now.
I'm a childish person and nobody likes that (or so some say). I have very odd habits,
lazy to do work (especially since last sem) and too afraid to show my true potential in everything.
Is there really something wrong with me? What happened to me that I molded this insecure personality? Is it stress, paranoia or just plain me?

What do I lack , hmm.. that's simple, I lack confidence, belief in myself and doubt that I can do things as well as others but in my own way. This feeling is so familiar as it's the same feel I had when I frist joined, Kolej Tuanku Ja'afar, when I was form3.

According to my current group of friends, they said it's because of my style and probably because I crave attention. Maybe I do, but why? what did i do to become this way? Why did I bring back the 'me' that I closed up years before?

When I first started Multimedia University, Cyber, I admit I was nervous, but after a few months, I enjoyed myself and eventhough I'm weak in assignments, I hardly skipped class. Besides that, I always had a smile on my face no matter the consequences.

But look at me now, I'm become quiet, I mope and don't concentrate in my work till my group members don't wanna talk to me. I've become useless and can't think for myself, or atleast that's what happens nowadays.

I guess they were right, sooner or later I'll be drawn away from them, but i didn't realise it was for real, till i can't even share a joke with them T_T. They're a good
bunch of people and know what's best for me, but why am I finding it hard to believe them?

Do I or do I not have to change? I was happy-go-lucky and would always find a way to brighten someones day which would in the end brighten mine. But why am I so lost now?

what am I supposed to do?

I know what I must do, but the big step is just so hard to take and I fear of getting misjudged (as I always do). Eventhough I'm always confronting people, in truth,I'm afraid of them. I trust too easily and sometimes give false hope.

Lately I've been anything but happy-go-lucky, I've become my the opposite side that I never wanted to venture to.

There has got to be a way to get back my good side, but if i have to do it, I need to get it fast. Despite the fact i have lots of assignments, (which I have to get done anyway) I need extra curricular activities. I remember being the one whom does everything and always manages to keep her studies on a moderate level.

I have to somehow get that girl back and for now, that would be my goal.

I know, I know, assignments are important, too. But... without that vibe, I'll never be able to do my assignments at the level it was before.

I guess that's all I have to say this time and I hope I'll achieve my goal.

As a message to all that may come across this blog,

Please stay on the right track or you'll suffer. Keep smiling and the best way to brighten your day (though you may not believe it) is to brighten other's day.
You are what you are and if you were to change, make sure you don't stray too far from who you are.

(Hahaha... there I go again, forgive me if I'm talking nonsense ^^;;; :D :S)